63 Lessons From 2020, The Year Of Clear Vision
I wish to show you when you are lonely or in darkness, the astonishing light of your own being .
– Hafiz
This was the year that transformed me beyond my imagination. Every week was packed with lessons. Each day, I woke up in awe of the range of experiences and ideas I wanted to explore. I had seasons of contraction and seasons of expansion. Ultimately, I grew and I’m now able to look at the bigger picture that 2020 was.
The lessons I’m sharing with you may resonate with your experience of the year. My intention for writing this list is normalizing some of the tough events we had to grow through and to shed light on some of the significant lessons we had to learn globally. Most of what we went through were external experiences that we had absolutely no power over. However, our response to them gave them meaning and ultimately created internalized beliefs or ideas about us and the world around us. What I learnt to integrate the most is this simple truth: we are in charge of our response to life’s experiences, good or bad. And we are also accountable for our wellbeing and the wellbeing of others, even if it may not be tangibly seen or felt. Our choices make or break us; and truly there’s no mistake. Mistakes are detours in the right direction just as 2020 was a detour in a better future for the world.
Here are the 63 important lessons 2020 taught me:
1. 2020 was a tough but incredibly powerful teacher.
2. There’s no tiptoeing around trauma, small or major. We have to face it to break through. We’ll otherwise recreate cycles that reminisce the original wound(s) in order to heal it/them. Our aversion to emoting the feelings associated with our traumas perpetuates more trauma. In short: what we resist persists.
3. How to truly honour, sit with, and express my emotions – all is welcome, especially the uncomfortable ones. We have to do this as an act of self-love and resilience, especially if we seek liberation from suffering.
4. What real intimacy is and looks like. Real intimacy is kind, communicative, boundaried, compassionate, loving, honest, expansive, and safe. It is authentic and raw, yet gentle and welcoming.
5. Who my friends actually are and what kind of friendships I’m actually a YES for in life. This one was a challenge to narrow down but I learnt some major lessons up until the very end 🙂
6. We are enough just by virtue of being exactly as we are.
7. We are understood at our core just by virtue of being ourselves at any given moment.
8. a. Concepts of “enough-ness” and our need for being understood are nothing but cultural or generational mind-f***s . These are all societal projections stemming from fear. The shift is in our acceptance of self/others exactly as we are and exactly as we show up. Do we think less of a rose because it is a rose? Is a rose ever misunderstood? Is an apple any less of an orange? Does it have to be an orange to be enough? Or vice versa? A rose is a rose; it has thorns, stems, roots, leaves, and petals. It needs water, soil, sun, and moisture. It is a plant. Does it ever need to look like a lily or a petunia to be enough or understood? No. It just is. So is an apple. It just is an apple, perfect as it is. You get my point.
b. We don’t really seek to be understood; rather we want our loved ones to care for our needs when we speak our truth, big or small, even when what we express may not make sense to them. Truth be told, they may not understand us but rather care for us and our need for understanding. Understanding is an inside job. Then the world will reflect that; and we will also get to understand others and their individuality. And here’s a secret: we are all understood at our core, simply because we are. We are souls in a body with a range of emotions. We do things because of learned behaviour and because of our own unique individuality. We may be inspired to change and un-become the people we are now on a path towards growth. Or we choose to stay the same with the programming we have downloaded as children. The simple truth is, we are as we are now, in this present moment. And we are truly understood by virtue of showing up as authentically as we can. People who have limited understanding of life’s basic truths are either blocked by fear or simply in denial. Either way, they are resisting life’s simplicity and their innate human-ness. And that isn’t our job to make them understand; it is THEIR unique journey.
9. I love working with people to uncover their true potential. My life’s mission is helping humans learn, understand, and accept their emotions to further fine-tune their emotional literacy and have fulfilling relationships with themselves and the world around them. At the moment, I’m in training to be a holistic life coach because life is about living well holistically. And we need direction, more than ever.
10. Food is a love language.
11. So are boundaries – I am grateful for boundaries.
12. I’m here to live a well balanced life. Harmony is my sweet spot.
13. Shadow work isn’t for the faint of heart, but it is necessary.
14. Life ebbs and flows and it’s okay to not be okay, just as it is okay to be overjoyed with fun and laughter.
15. a. I dislike autumn. Yet, I aspire to live a vibrant and full life despite not liking all seasons.
b. Seasons look and feel different to different people. We also carry our own individualized or personal seasons. I’m often oscillating between winter and spring.
16. My creativity is abundant, as an artist and a student of life; I always make things work and create solutions. This is a talent I’m really grateful for.
17. I am incredibly courageous, brave, and resilient.
18. My intuition is on point.
19. My discipline game is strong.
20. The key to perfect health is having a balanced and calm nervous system.
21. Sleep, nutrition, exercise, walking, fresh air, plants, laughter, and creativity are my daily top non-negotiable acts of self-care for cultivating and nurturing great health.
22. I love and adore my family MORE when things get tough and challenging.
23. I am supported. I’ve got my back. I have a loving support system too.
24. Self-accountability is my strongest asset.
25. My spirit is infinitely adventurous, and my definition of adventure is personal to me and my heart.
26. Travel is a self-care practice and I cannot wait to be able to see the world again.
27. I hit creative blocks without connection and community. And now I’m recreating connections of all sorts. I love you guys!
28. I want to create an incredible and adventurous 2021 and share it with my loved ones. This is my greatest intention for this year: focus on creating play and community through slowing down and stillness, as that is my soul’s calling and I’m ready to learn how to do this right.
29. I’m somewhat of a snowbird and want to live by the ocean.
30. More than ever I’m dropping all the ego-based “shoulds”. F*** all the shoulds. I live my life on my terms. I have total and utter autonomy over my life. It’s liberating to be me. I am free.
31. It’s more than possible to make friends during a pandemic. I’ve met a couple of incredible souls.
32. Life is about creating new internal habits and experiences that are aligned with our adult/higher self or innate sense well being as a human being.
33. A pandemic is a detour in the right direction.
34. My version of minimal may not fit yours.
35. I’m as introverted as I am extroverted – any INFJ types out there?
36. I’d rather compassionately express myself than create inauthentic peace. Compassionate expression ultimately creates peace of mind for everyone.
37. Abundance is a mindset.
38. I’m a master manifester.
39. I’m a born teacher/leader.
40. People are so precious. I love my community so much 💜 Please take great care of your emotional and physical health.
41. I have so much love and gratitude for life.
42. I don’t like change, yet I’ve been changing nonstop throughout my life and I’ll continue evolving.
43. My version of on-time is unique to me. So, I go with my divine timing. That may look slow, and I’m totally cool with it. I welcome gradual shifts. I honour being gentle and slow as I grow through life.
44. Health is wealth. We get to decide how to cultivate wellness in every aspect of our lives.
45. A good night’s sleep is the best kind of medicine.
46. When things get tough, we need even more self-love.
47. Shame is a wasted emotion, truly. On the other hand, guilt nurtures accountability, humility, and change.
48. Anger is sacred. Honour it, healthily.
49. The best apology is changed behaviour.
50. Over-explanation is a trauma response stemming from codependency, particularly rejection and abandonment. It is a defence mechanism. And here’s a re-frame: there’s nothing to defend when we know, accept, and state our truths with clarity. Shifting our energy behind over-explanation from fear to acceptance yields closure for us, first and foremost. Also, we can hold onto our precious energy instead of giving our power away to unwelcoming people/circumstances. Who wants their energy drained? No one… 🙄
51. A pandemic is not an excuse for giving up on our healthy habits, whether in relation to our bodies or in relation to our loved ones or our communities at large. Our mental and physical health habits not only affect us, but those around us. We owe others just as much care, trust, respect, and love. We are all responsible for the safety of others, even when we think our actions don’t matter.
52. We change a system by changing the parts. When we change, the world changes with us.
53. We are never truly alone.
54. Kind neighbours are gems. Hold onto them and show them love.
55. Being patient is an act of unconditional love. I see the many wonderful changes my family is going through. Especially with my parents, I see them changing and it’s so beautiful to witness their innate potential for growth, no matter how small. I’m grateful for being patient when I wanted to give up. Patience is a skill learned. Particularly in the fast paced world we live in, prioritizing stillness and patience on our and our loved ones’ journey towards growth is truly an act of unconditional love, which ultimately leads to success.
56. When we want to give up is exactly when we need to persevere, no matter what that looks like.
57. Stillness leads to joy.
58. Being intentional about our actions throughout the day, from the moment we wake up to the moment we fall asleep, cultivates creativity, productivity, and resilience. There’s so much growth in this way of life, as opposed to following a mundane rhythm we’ve habitually fallen into. Intentionality is the secret sauce to success.
59. A heart centred way of living leads to a fulfilling life.
60. Courage is the key ingredient in creativity and abundant living.
61. Asking questions leads to creative solutions. Often when we get stuck, we may forget to ask for help. And when we don’t seek support, whether by going inward and being honest with ourselves, or perhaps through calling our loved ones or skilled professionals, we end up going in circles. Questions are pattern-interrupts in the direction of our expansion and well-being.
62. Feelings are meant to be felt not stored. Learning to emote with open curiosity leads to incredible breakthroughs in every single facet of our lives. Fears are nothing but stuck emotions that need permission to be witnessed with love and compassion. All is truly welcome 🙂
63. Pain is given, but suffering is a choice. Choose the path to freedom.
As the Persian poet Rumi so beautifully says:
I said: what about my eyes?
He said: Keep them on the road.
I said: What about my passion?
He said: Keep it burning.
I said: What about my heart?
He said: Tell me what you hold inside it?
I said: Pain and sorrow.
He said: Stay with it. The wound is the place where the Light enters you.
I want to invite you to do a year in review as well. What were your lessons? What breakthroughs did you have? And what are you still learning? Leave your comments and top 3 takeaways.
To a brighter future from ground zero. 🥂
We’ve got this. We can make 2021 amazing. Happy New Year beautiful people. Stay healthy and keep on shining ✨
Sending my love,
Behnaz 💗
